I felt seen! This was an incredibly validating read for a black millennial like me. There were many times listening to the audiobook where I just smiled and nodded because I *felt that*. Reniqua Allen put a ton of work into this and it shows. The research was thorough and current. I especially liked the fact that we weren't limited to NYC and LA, like so many books and articles about millennials often are. There are millions of people who live in between those cities who have stories that are just as valid as the high-powered whoevers working in Hollywood and Times Square. So I appreciated that. It was a thoughtful choice for a book such as this and it brought some much needed diversity to this subject.

The whole subject of "millennials are having a hard time" is always filtered through a painfully white and privileged lens. Their problems are not our problems. Allen put in a lot of perspectives that rightfully and accurately opposed the notion of what a typical millennial is, what they look like, and what kind of dreams and goals they have. At times, I won't lie, it was depressing. Most of us are struggling. Most of us have high hopes and big dreams and so much optimism and it's hard to read this book and believe that everything will work out for them in the end.

It definitely felt like a news article, in that we get snapshots of these people's lives and a lot of cool, pithy quotes. We see the common ties they have and how it all relates back to the main idea. But it's only a snapshot. It's only one facet of their lives. Allen tried to end on a high note, even with each person she interviewed, so I give her props for that. It couldn't have been easy to figure out how to portray us truthfully and without judgment while simultaneously refusing to succumb to the "low hanging fruit" of tragedy porn.

I took away a star because it felt like the author was presenting a lot of different perspectives with varying levels of attention and objectivity. What I mean by that is she tried to approach this from a neutral standpoint... kinda.

It was hard to tell if she was taking sides or if she was being apolitical and whether that had an impact on the book as a whole. As a result that made it hard to figure out what the point of the book was. Are you presenting our lives and our challenges to a generally black audience OR are you presenting our lives and our challenges to a generally mixed-raced audience according to how radical the subjects are because that would make for a more interesting book for them? I assumed she was a very "woke" person based upon how often left-leaning ideas popped up on the page (not that I'm complaining, I'm a liberal). But I could be wrong about it's impact on the subject matter. I'm just saying that was my perception.

She was clearly distracted by the most intriguing interviewees. She seemed especially interested in the dominatrix and the imprisoned prostitute. We spent a big chunk of the Survival chapter on them, taking a deep dive into their personal lives, their thoughts, their feelings, and their personalities. The interviewees before them and after them did not get that kind of time in the spotlight. Which goes back to the question I asked in a previous paragraph. Did Allen's desire to be "woke" have an impact on what made it into the book? Were there parts of this book that was performative instead of informative? If you interviewed dozens of people, why spend this much time on the lone sex workers? Yes, they represent a side of life not often told, but almost every interviewee's story is a story not often told and deserving of more attention. There was a clear and obvious political slant to the book that varied depending on who was being interviewed. I guess I just didn't like it because it felt biased towards the most uniquely marginalized subjects AKA the person with the most odd shit going on in their lives. You know, the people most likely to prove the book and the author's "wokeness".

I also felt as if the black woman republican was there just to cover her bases. She was portrayed in that annoying "gotta hear both sides" binary without her perspectives really being challenged which further fed into the idea that she was simply being interviewed to balance out the socialist who was interviewed before her. Again, there seemed to be a desire for objectivity and for a neutral stance, but it's hard to do that convincingly when you've just spent the last three or four chapters with a pretty obvious liberal slant on things. I appreciated the effort, I guess? It was better than nothing and she couldn't just ignore the other side of the political spectrum in a book that claims to be about ALL black millennials and unfortunately and oddly enough the less popular ideals need to be given space too.

Some big, serious issues in the black millennial world were touched upon once or twice, never to be revisited again. I was disappointed when she interviewed the black male professional, asked him about dating black women, provided a couple (dare I say, controversial) quotes and then moved onto the next subject. The black queer man she interviewed about his love life also gave wonderful quotes about dating and was worthy of a deep dive IMO, like she did with the sex workers, but she didn't go there either. In the black millennial world, dating is a huge deal. She dedicated a chapter to it, but the whole chapter was lacking that something special that the other chapters had.

She pivoted away from the single folks without kids to interview three black women with kids who were unmarried. I liked their perspective. It was interesting. Didn't mirror my reality since I don't have kids and I know of several black millennial women who also don't have kids - which is common these days cause kids are fucking expensive and men are trash. Again, the single mom life is a valid life if you're black and their perspectives matter. But it felt, once again, like Allen's focus was more on being "woke" and showing how "woke" she was by choosing to NOT interview single black millennial women w/o kids in the dating field and instead giving that spotlight to the single moms to humanize them and show the world they aren't just stereotypes. Noble, but was it really the best choice?

All my beef aside, I enjoyed it. I thought it was a great idea and that she did her best to bring it to life without devolving into the usual bullshit we see about black people. She tried her best to be subversive where she could and I appreciated it. It wasn't perfect and she made choices I didn't really agree with, but it's not a bad book because of it. I thought about it for a long time after I finished reading it. I would recommend but only to certain people. It could be a tough read for people who aren't black.

Highly recommend this book. The author sits down and has real talk conversations with folx of Black America, and they’ve got a lot to say. White peoplx should be doing the same instead of hanging on to racial bias, and/or just not knowing. These conversations are so important. Together, we can create a more just, loving world for all. But we can only do it together.

I changed my review from three to four stars after reflecting on this for some time. I am a young millennial. I will never be a Black millennial, so I will never ever know the experiences written about here.

The stories here are told well and claims are backed up by impeccable research. The book didn’t quite master the balance between academic writing and popular consumption writing, in my mind, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe the book itself is showing the balance that Black millennials have to achieve in their lives.

What does the American Dream mean in 2019? Is it a universal dream for all people or does it depend on race/ethnicity, gender, and/or sexuality? Should this dream be modified if it doesn't work in the manner one expects? These are just a few of the questions I had after reading the first chapter of It Was All a Dream. There are no easy answers-the American Dream is thought to be a symbol of success, of "making it" in a world where you're expected to fail. How does the dream manifest itself? This is where one can argue that the dream has been fulfilled if one has the material goods to promote a vision of wealth. In addition to wealth (real or imaginary), there is a social representation to add-the dream includes marriage & children. The children are to be educated at the best elementary and secondary schools, moving on to attend the nation's most prestigious colleges and universities, culminating with landing a coveted position with potential for growth and acclaim. However, this is not the reality for a large number of African Americans. Reniqua Allen challenges the reader to think about how the American Dream or lack thereof has impacted their life. What does it mean to not have access to the resources that make the dream a reality? Who is to blame when one's reality doesn't mirror the dream? Should this even be a cause for concern?
I really, really admire Ms. Allen's writing and research. This is not an easy topic to tackle and it takes a lack of ego to admit their outer appearance is not all good, especially in the age of social media. This book evaluates multiple perspectives from romantic relationships, politics, education/college debt, drug addiction, sex work, and professional career/workplace. The points of view presented are varied between traditional middle class, poor working class, and blue collar. However, their concerns are fairly universal. What really stands out to me is that Allen does not interject her opinion in the text. She lets the research speak for itself loud and clear. The multitude of voices led me to conclude that the American Dream is outdated and not the vision I want for me. That doesn't mean that I or anyone else who isn't in search of a supposed dream is unworthy. It means that we, like previous generations, are fighting to live on our terms rather than under a gaze of inferiority.
One thing I didn't really think about reading-how BLM (Black Lives Matter) has faded from the national news to a large degree. An answer is given.
Quotes to think about-admittedly hard to choose, but I'll share three. "Women were fierce, independent, hard-working, and feminist(without having to announce it, display it or safety pin it). They made clear all too often that marriage and "happily ever after " was for White girls" (245).
"Maybe our mobility shouldn't always be measured like our White millenial peers. Maybe it's measured in joy and pleasure. If this country was never meant for us anyway, maybe we have to look beyond" (314).
Speaking about the Black middle class-"These are the folks who "make it." Who often find economic and political "success" in the White world, get so-called approval from larger society, but also suffer from unequal economic, social, and housing conditions. They are found in newsrooms, classrooms, and boardrooms, even the White House, yet they remain as misunderstood as ever" (178-179).

Bahhh!! I want to love this book because I genuinely learned a lot from it, and as someone with great privilege it is important for me to learn as much as I can about the experiences of the oppressed. And I got that from the book, but I just really could not engage with Allen's writing nor the structure of it. Something about the balancing of her story with others' stories and statistics feels off to me. It's not so much a matter of it being bad, I don't think, it's just not a layout that I can easily engage with as a reader.

IQ "Maybe our mobility shouldn't always be measured like our White millennial peers. Maybe it's measured in joy and pleasure. If this country was never meant for us anyway, maybe we have to look beyond" (314).

I was initially skeptical because interviewing 75 people didn't seem like it would be enough but it is wide-ranging in perspectives. There's geographic diversity (a needed reminder that there are Black people in Appalachia!) and a variety of perspectives and experiences (a dominatrix!) portrayed. I also appreciated that Allen wove in her personal experiences since she herself is an older Black millennial and had some interesting observations drawn from her own life. And I was relieved to see that the book wasn't entirely focused on older millennials, at one point a few of those interviewed mentioned how impactful the Jena 6 was on them (vs Jesse Jackson running for president) and I literally experienced a wave of recognition and also shame because I haven't thought about that case in so long. But I do vividly remember following it as a kid. The only chapter that felt random was the one on Hollywood. I understand what Allen was trying to say about how the Black middle class experience was represented but I didn't think it needed a whole chapter especially when it started talking to people who wanted to make it in Hollywood. That part felt like it was two different books. I also wish there had been a few interviews with Black millennials who were either upper middle class or were raised that way to see how they fared and what they experienced.

IT WAS ALL A DREAM is a refreshing, reaffirming read that looks at the Black millennial experience and the many ways the American Dream is a myth. It's refreshing because it centers Black millennials who are overlooked when the mainstream media paints a broad brush of the entitled (white) millennial. It will no doubt be eye-opening to those who don't have young Black friends or do much reading but it was also reassuring to be reminded that I was not alone. I knew this from my own friends but it's nice to see your experience reflected beyond your inner circle and seeing it being taken seriously as a topic of study. The book was strongest when it focused on economic anxiety, mental health and how racism permeates every aspect of the Black experience in America. You can't talk about the millennial experience without talking about Black people especially during the covid19 pandemic as Black people of all generations are disproportionately impacted. This book is a must-read (especially for all those now trying to be anti-racist).

OTHER NOTABLE QUOTES
"Love is hard for everyone. But for young Black people in America, it seems damn near impossible. Is it that surprising when we lack the love of our society? We are raised in a society that teaches us to hate ourselves, our bodies, our features, and to hate each other. We are taught that our hair is inappropriate and our skin is too dark. And then we are condemned when we learn to experience love in other ways. Because the history of our love and marriage is different, perhaps our experiences with love are also unique." (252)

"People talk about Black Twitter all the time, but Black Twitter is Twitter. It is the biggest platform in terms of a shared communal space of people with similar interests all around the world vibing on like one big inside joke after another every day. A lot of times just me being in tune to that helps me get through my day. I've got to know what the TL is talking about. The FOMO is so real." (Jasmyn, 102)