Punk 57. Wow. What a ride. I loved this book to pieces honestly. Just—beautiful.

The emotional scenes are what really got to me; taking two incredibly rough, cocky characters and watching them break down, be vulnerable, and being able to come right back around again was everything to me.

The spice felt a bit abrupt at some parts, but was generally very good,

and got even better towards the end when it was rightfully placed around more vulnerable scenes.

I stayed up till 3am binging this book last night and finished it as soon as I got back home after running errands today. The spice was spicyyy, but the plot was fully there. I decided to read it in between Hideaway and Kill Switch and I absolutely adored the pop ups from my favorite characters in the Devil’s Night series.

I related to Ryen so much, it physically hurt. The pain of wanting to fit in with the popular kids at school is something that I think almost everyone has experienced and I truly appreciated the way Penelope Douglas portrayed her as a character.

Since going back on my ✨meds✨, I haven’t been able to cry, but I’ll tell you what.. I was SO close to breaking down when that last plot twist hit us. The raw emotion from Misha and the devastating conversation had me yearning to be able to shed tears and if I wasn’t mentally stable thanks to a little (Dr. prescribed*) pill, I would have been bawling my eyes out.

Ready to resume my Devil’s Night reads— Penelope Douglas has quickly become one of my new favorite authors. 🖤

time to rant.....

okay so I wanna start by saying that if you liked this book, I totally respect your opinion and I honestly wish that was me because I wish I could like every book I read especially one that I've been wanting to read for so long. 🫶🏼

my face throughout the whole book was like this: 🤨😬😐

but anyways, I hated literally every single character in this book and SO MANY scenes gave me the ick.

these characters, both the main and the side characters had everything I absolutely hate about real life people... lying, faking and the worst thing of all.... bullying.... (and beyond).

I hated Ryen so much, I honestly didn't sympathise with her once over her constant explanations on why she was how she was..... I have zero sympathy for bullies and the dude she bullied is better than me because when she apologised, I would've given her the middle finger and told her to fuck off.

and Misha was annoying and a weirdo. obviously I sympathised with him over his sister, I can't imagine having to go through that but everything else... brother ewww... also, wtf is his problem with taking no's??? I feel like she constantly said "oh I don't wanna do this rn" and he would persuade her???? hello???? police????? and if I remember correctly there was even a moment where he threatened something (I just don't remember what LMAO).

I'm gonna admit that there is one thing Ryen pissed me off for but it's because I'm also guilty of that and I hate that about myself, which is choosing bad friends (HOWEVER as bad as I've chosen, I'd never let them bully other people in front of me, much less me joining them in the bullying).

and I think this is how I realise I do in fact have a limit on how much smut I mind in a book..... for me, it's the same if a book has smut or doesn't, I don't mind either way but now I know there's definitely something as too much smut. (or maybe it's because the rest of the book had a shitty plot, who knows). but I definitely thought this book had a bit too much.

also, can we talk about how this was set in high school?????? I know teenagers have sex (even tho I didn't LMAO) but come on....

this was my first ever Penelope Douglas book and I have Birthday Girl on my tbr but now idk if I should read it. but I guess I might give her another chance with that book, but we'll see.

⚠️⚠️⚠️THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️

Minor critique - I hate the way she spelled both "Masen" and  "Ryen." 

Review:
When I started reading this, I couldn't put it down. Buttttt the more I thought about it, the less I liked it. For starters, I really wish these characters were college-aged and not in high school, but more on that later. 🥴 I could suspend reality for some of the plot lines, like the kid sleeping at an abandoned theme park and the constant vandalism at the school. But some of the plot just doesn't make sense. Like him getting a fake identity to come to a school 30 minutes down the road from where he lives...? 🙄 (Would his biological mom really not google his name and recognize him at all?!) The way she started vandalizing the school because her pen pal stopped writing her? Lmao...what? The fact that she was at an event to promote a local band at the beginning of the book and didn't know who the band was or who the band members were is also unrealistic. 🤦‍♀️
Misha's dad allowing his son to sleep outside his on a nightly basis and not freaking out and worrying about him also seemed very unrealistic. If Misha really came from such an affluent family, I highly doubt his go-to reaction at the loss of his sister would be to start acting like a homeless person. That was an unnecessary aspect of the book. It seemed like it was added so the cove hide-and-seek scene could play out. 
My biggest qualm is the sex scenes. They're well written but extremely unrealistic for how inexperienced teenagers would talk and engage in sex. These sex scenes are written as if these are very experienced, older characters, and not horny teens. I also really wish they were older because it's cringey to go from sex scenes to petty high school events/drama and this is borderline a YA novel in my opinion, and I prefer not to read open door sex scenes about teenagers- ew! Also, Ryen, having the hots for "Masen" after knowing he broke into her house, seems unrealistic, too. That's borderline stalker behavior. The way the men talk to and about women is also unrealistic for teenagers and extremely misogynistic. The girls calling each other sluts and the way Ryen doesn't stand up for her friend Layla when she's being slut-shamed at school is not okay either. I know Ryen wasn't a genuine friend to Layla but still, that didn't make me, as a reader, like Ryen any more. I think Ten is the only likable and somewhat realistic character in this whole cast. She didn't hear from her pen pal for 3 months and despite being pen pals for several years and knowing his full name and address, she never once googled him?! Unbelievable 🫠
A student having a key to the high school and that not being investigated after weeks of consistent vandalism taking place? Also there were secutity gaurds at the school the night that Misha and Ryen fucked in the library. Where were those gaurds the night of the prom??? 
Okay not gonna lie I did NOT expect the principal to be Misha's mom, though. Penelope got me on that one lol. But Misha yelling at the principal for abandoning him and Annie and blaming her for Annie's death? That's ridiculous! Also the way this author writes about addiction is not the greatest. It seems like she uses it as a plot device, and the bit about Manny was so minor and felt unnecessary to the storyline. Douglas also doesn't include any content warnings or helpline info for readers who may be experiencing addiction issues, that seems like a basic courtesy that should be included at the beginning of the book when writing about the topic of addiction. 
In a 10 month period he went on a short tour and recorded and released an album? His first album, that quickly? 🙄

Overall, I feel like Douglas couldn't decide how she wanted to write these characters, and due to that, they don't feel well fleshed out to me. I think this book could have been edited more, too. Hopefully, her writing has evolved as she has continued her career because she has a ton of potential. It just felt like too many ideas were thrown in. It wasn't edited well, and the character's identities/personalities were a bit all over the place. I'd definitely read more books by her, but I am not sure I would recommend this one. 

Not her pregnant in the epilogue, too - bleh!