Intimate and honest look at a mother’s struggle with post-partum depression and anxiety. In this respect it is quite good, it doesn’t shy away from the worst aspects and the worst thoughts that can cross a new mother’s mind. The mixed emotions and loss of identity the result from parenthood are the main focus, and they are not treated as shameful but as something which should be worked through patiently.

My issue is with the level of exposition. The reader is not given much to figure out for themselves, with every little detail laid out as clearly as possible at every opportunity. For example, the narrator often simply tells us her feelings—literally ‘I am disappointed’—sometimes this is fine, sometimes it feels redundant. 

The narrative is split between the post-partum period, the ~year before ‘Button’ is born, and ‘letters’ to Button from that year. These segments are broken up at times by search histories, which are used as another form of exposition to tell the reader that the character is experiencing post-partum depression/anxiety, and to repeat other details discussed immediately prior. Personally I feel the pace would have been better with a higher page count and a more integrated exposition, or cutting it out entirely.

In all, its strength is in its thematic focus. The author succeeds in showing us the narrator’s emotional journey through post-partum in both honest depictions and subtle changes in the writing style—I only wish the changes had not occurred at the very end, and that this journey had been less padded with attempts to ensure the reader knew *exactly* what the author meant at any given moment.

***Note on the content warnings:

Most of what I have added is based on the intrusive thoughts the narrator has regarding harming her baby, ways her baby may be harmed, the future, and one instance of paranoia her husband might assault the child. The ‘Graphic’ ones are labelled as such due to their frequency more than actual detail. ‘Minor’ are brought up only once. And the Abandonment relates to the narrators desire to run away.

I’ve never read such a hyper-realistic story that felt so much like horror. 

***Thank you to Net Galley for giving me access to an ARC.***

The Nursery by Szilvia Molnar is perhaps one of the most real and visceral portrayals of post-partum motherhood/depression/anxiety I’ve read since becoming a mother. Our narrator is a Swedish translator who has just given birth to a baby girl we know as Button. The Nursery accounts her days, weeks, months, who knows? navigating post-partum healing, mental health, motherhood, partnership, and friendship. Mixed with elements of psychological horror (which post-partum ANYTHING sometimes feels like), magical realism, and the brutal repetition of newborn life, this story leaves you feeling tense, out of air, and relieved all at the same time. 

The details are raw and not withholding. The anxiety and obsessive compulsion is REAL. The maddening and all-encompassing love is real. Motherhood is madness and fierce love and anyone who births a child deserves to be taken care of. As a society, we toss mothers to the wolves after the baby is born and this book captures it so shockingly well. Sometimes it feels like our strange and lonely neighbor (literal or metaphorical) is our only friend who gets what you feel, or maybe doesn’t get it, but actually makes you feel heard and seen. 

While the ending is left open, “Does our narrator get the help she so desperately needs?” I felt hopeful. I could see the light at the end of the deep dark pit of despair and fear. I loved this, but I can see it wouldn’t be for anyone. It’s sad! It gets DARK. For the childless wondering if parenthood is the next step, this might make you think otherwise. For the caregivers and mothers out there this might fill you with anxiety but it also filled me with sweet bitter catharsis. 

This quote has not been cross checked with the final copy.