INTIMIDATION FACTORS
Over 800 pages (though the pages span over three books)
Who in the world are these authors?
You don't want to be caught in public holding a book that looks like this.
Not for the dogmatically sensitive.

The plot of Illuminatus! is difficult to describe, but I'll try. The offices of a magazine are bombed, supposedly by a conservative group of some sort. The editor of the magazine has disappeared without a trace. Detectives assigned to the case find out that the cause is actually much more confusing than originally supposed. Yes, this sounds similar to plots from other books you've read. But involved here is a likely conspiracy that may go back 18,000 years in the past. Or perhaps just back to the eighteenth century. Or maybe it's all made up. It really is up to the way you interpret it on your own. Okay, that also sounds like other books you've read. But Illuminatus! isn't hack writing like Dan Brown.
Could I convince you to read it knowing that you can expect talking dolphin poets fighting off a secret government's pop stars' zombie Nazi army during a Woodstock type of a rock festival? Or that it is full of Zen philosophy, Discordian ideals(look it up online), Freudianism, nympho free masons, and outright nonsense? It is also chock-full of secrets societies, conspiracies, LSD, giant golden submarines, and escalating cold war issues. The humor and blatant non-seriousness of these woven stories leaves a reader with a feeling of not knowing what to believe. The overall feel like you're reading a parallel universe of alternate history book. The book sets out to break the readers mind down by stripping away your preconceived ideas on each of the above topics and will have your head spinning after the first few pages.
The authors themselves were kind enough to review their own book on page 238;
"It's a dreadfully long monster of a book..." "The authors are utterly incompetent -- no sense of style or structure at all. It starts out as a detective story, switches to science-fiction, then goes off into the supernatural, and is full of the most detailed information of dozens of ghastly boring subjects. And the time sequence is all out of order in a very pretentious imitation of Faulkner and Joyce. Worst yet, it has the most raunchy sex scenes, thrown in just to make it sell, I'm sure, and the authors -- whom I've never heard of -- have the supreme bad taste to introduce real political figures into this mismash and pretend to be exposing a real conspiracy."
What the Illuminatus! Trilogy is really like -- imagine your uncle leading you along in an interesting and likely emotionally-drenched story, and then cracks a joke seemingly out of nowhere, at which point you are likely not going to be able to ascertain whether it's really funny, or really messed up. Or like the feeling of watching a really good History Channel documentary delving deep into secret societies or regimes and then sitting on the remote, causing the channel to change abruptly to Family Guy. It clumps chronologically separated moments into a thread of continuity that actually makes the books better off for doing such. History nuts aside, who really remembers precisely when historical events took place, rather than ‘in the past’ or ‘in my textbook?’
Put your Dan Brown and Hot Chocolate down, and request that the bookstore orders a copy of the Illuminatus! Trilogy. I had to get my copy at Ken Sanders Rare Books in SLC, and it was on a bookseller’s recommendation that I got the book. I have yet to see a purchasable copy in Utah County. Call the store beforehand. Illuminatus! is a ‘Rated R’ to Dan Browns ‘Rated PG-13’ if that makes sense. You'll be happy you did.

So, get two educated men together who both love Joyce, pulp science fiction, conspiracy theory, free-market capitalism, Discordianism, sex, and drugs, and this trilogy is pretty much what you get. An exercise in illusion and allusion, "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" is a trippy adventure exploring the clash between law and anarchy, and everything in-between. A pleasure to read and discuss. The trilogy is hard to describe, so I'll leave you with a paraphrased quote from the book that sums it up: Everything is true, everything is false, and everything is meaningless.

i wouldn't try to read this unless you've got a lot of time on your hands. also avoid it if you're married to the idea of a linear plot.

This is the omnibus edition of the cult classic trilogy The Eye in the Pyramid, The Golden Apple, and Leviathan, so should really count as three books on my annual list. On what may be my fourth read-through of this favourite, I continue to find new things and new perspectives.

The ultimate spoof of conspiracy theories (with enough facts thrown in to make you wonder), it contains multiple story lines told non-linearly with no transition. Among many other things, it includes several characters at Dealey Plaza who did not kill JFK, John Dillinger, the last words of mobster Dutch Schultz, sex, magick, mysticism, a trip to Atlantis, a Nazi zombie apocalypse, and an honest-to-Goddess goddess. There’s also a lot of anti-establishment philosophy, which, as however justified as it was back in the Vietnam era (there’s one scene set at the 1968 Democratic National Convention riot), is disturbing in the light of the “Freedom” movement of the 2020s, showing how the Far Right has learned the tactics of the Far Left. The same goes for alternative currencies; the flaxscript and hempscript that Shea and Wilson envisioned in the Seventies may be somewhat mirrored by crypto, although they operate differently.

Wilson, a self-described “agnostic mystic”, went on to write several other fiction and non-fiction books in the metaphysical and Discordian genres, a number of which I’ve also read. Shea, who for a time edited an anarchist zine No Governor, also wrote a number of historical novels, again some of which I’ve read, all on the strength of Illuminatus! The book was adapted to a nine-hour marathon play at the British National Theatre in 1977, but may be another of those “unfilmable” novels. Unless one of the streaming services picks it up…

OK, so technically it's 3 books - but I've always read it as one. And 3+4 is 4 and 3x4=12, which means nothing.

I'm not sure how many times I've read this book. At least three times. Probably double that. Although 5 would be amusing. I'm kinda surprised I haven't done a review yet. Well, I guess this is it.

Where to start.

This book is not for everyone. In fact, it might not really be for anyone, but you can't fault it for not trying. I'm going to give it 5 stars - I can tell you that already - and not just because of the law of fives - because, whatever you or I think of the quality of the writing or the plot or the crazy bullshit that flies like lies in Congress this book changed me. And continues to, on occasion.

Now what do I mean by that? Welllllllllllll it's hard to say. I guess I mean that all the thought exercises that I do as "i" read the thing had a permanent stretching effect on the way "I" process the world. I mean, the way I interface with reality is already a bit skewed (moreso if you know certain things about me), but the contortions I go through to process this book added some other options to my filter. That's the best I can explain it. Everything is true and nothing is true, Man.

Sure, some of the gender, race and sexual politics haven't aged as gracefully as they could have - but they also haven't aged horrendously. I mean, for a product of the drug-induced hope spigot that was the 60s and the terrible schizophrenic letdown that was the 70s... it's not half bad.

I dunno. There's not much I can specifically say about this book other than I think it would be a good thing for you (anyone) to read it, but I completely understand why you'll probably put the thing down right quick - possibly out a window. I love a good mindfuck. But you've really got to let yourself get sucked into and under it to get properly fucked, you know?

FIVE STARS

Because we have five fingers, if you look hard enough.

Got nearly 500 pages in before I succumbed to utter boredom. I guess it's not for me.

Despite what some other people have said about this book, it's completely worth it. Obviously, if you're interested in reading it, you've decided to look up other people's reviews of it, and to see if that many people really think it's "life-changing" and as crazy of a writer as James Joyce was. I've never actually read any of Joyce's work, but I definitely will be soon, and primarily because of this book. I'd say if you're curious about religious or spiritual ideas like Kabbalah, anything pertaining to Aleister Crowley, H.P. Lovecraft, Joyce, William S. Burroughs, the stream-of-consciousness group like Faulkner, Woolf, Stein, Joyce, etc., enjoy being incredibly vulgar or ridiculous (and cunt is a commonly used word for you), or just really love learning then this book is for you. As other people have noted, it's also really fun to look up any combination of the various quotes, referenced characters, sayings, etc. because while I never would have heard of half of them (like a good portion of the people the Roberts list while describing the five stages of Discordianism and corresponding trips (to the book's structure)).

Primarily, I saw it as a primer for the Discordian way of thinking; primarily, to be skeptical of all things, not just what you are told, but also anything and everything you read, see, touch, feel, etc.-reality, as well as everything else. There was a certain point about 5 or 6 years ago when I realized that most great works of art-be they albums, books, movies, paintings, sculptures, poems, narratives, etc.-are achieved by blending the similarities between reality and surreality, and this book takes that point to an absurdity, as one would expect. The constantly shifting narrative does get a bit old after a while, mainly because it's incredibly difficult to follow at points, and I felt as though there were definitely reasons why the Roberts switched to different characters at different times that were mostly unknown to me. However, this book will definitely always remain as one of my favorites, due to the reasons previously listed, and also because things that I don't understand fascinate me, and I didn't understand a lot of this book, but it was incredibly great at most moments for its hilarity, vulgarity and generally as a giant informal encyclopedia of information.

One helluva trippy, sprawling, funny, frightening, weird, baffling, wonderful novel that I have read many, many times.

Mind boggling but also (naturally?) impenetrable. Ewige Blumenkraft

It is difficult to review this book.

It's one of the most insane books I have read.

I would like to give it more, but it's difficult to tell how much I liked it!!!