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hollyannsa's review against another edition
4.0
Wow. Sooooooo interesting. A new way to think about adoption and the child welfare system.
kaitorgator's review against another edition
3.0
Almost unreadably sad, especially the first third, which details the conditions of Margaret Erle’s stay in the maternity home and of having to relinquish her son Stephen/David immediately after his birth. So upsetting I had to stop reading at several points. A moving story, but the the state of things at present/the end of the story is hardly better than the 1960s.
pmhandley's review against another edition
emotional
informative
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Incredibly readable in a can't-put-down type of way. Highlights the horror of the adoption industry - and yes, it's certainly an industry - through the story of one family but also highlights the awfulness of the "Baby Scoop" era generally. There is some talk about the problems that still persist in adoption but this is largely contained in the final chapter. You're mad for Margaret, you're mad for David, who's inability to access his actual family medical history probably cost him decades of life. It's an important read for dispelling the common narrative of adoption that focuses heavily on adoptive parents and does not consider the wellbeing of adoptees or what it entails for someone to give up their baby.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Pregnancy
Minor: Death and Death of parent
arielzeit's review against another edition
4.0
An amazing and heartbreaking book, both the story of one unwed teen mother forced to give up her son and their joyful, if fleeting, reunion when he was an adult, and also a social history of how young women all over America and overseas were coerced into giving up their children in closed adoptions, the defining importance being placed on motherhood, and the cruelty of what became an actual industry. It was sometimes a hard book to read but a very worthwhile one. Glaser will be on my series, Open Book / Open Mind Online at the Montclair Public Library in a few weeks, and I'm excited to welcome her.
ginkgotree's review against another edition
4.0
Enraging and heartbreaking. Glaser tells the story of a young woman whose son was taken from her and adopted, at a time when that practice was all too common. Absolutely devastating to imagine. Perhaps the worst part was the banal cruelty and indifference of so many people involved, from doctors and nurses to social workers to her own parents. Thank goodness much has changed, but this history is important and affects people to this day.
dahenneman's review against another edition
5.0
I am having a hard time remembering the last time a non-fiction book caused me to cover my mouth, widen my eyes and gasp. And it has been a fair bit of time since one made me cry. This is a beautiful blend of real-life family saga and US history, one that weaves both throughout as the timeline takes us from birth to death of a baby impacted by this dark spot in our Country's past. Touching and informative, this book was read with research in mind, and it opened my eyes to a world I am just starting to fully understand. There is so much more to their story, to our story as a country, and I am so glad that this particular family was able to tell theirs. For anyone interested in the shadow history of adoption in the US, I would highly recommend this book.
acschaffer's review against another edition
4.0
I was drawn to this book because of my brother-in-law's adoption story. I learned a lot about how the US has handled teenaged pregnancies. It's sad that the system deceived birth mothers and adoptive families, and then did everything possible to prevent them from finding each other.
My mother-in-law was separated from her husband and was doing her best to raise her three children on her own. She was barely making it, and even had to rely on homeless shelters from time to time. A brief reunion with her husband led to a fourth pregnancy that she could not afford. She asked her doctor to help find a family who could adopt her baby. She wanted the baby to have three things. 1. Money 2. A stay-at-home mother 3. Siblings. The doctor found a family that fit her requests, but he wanted to ensure it was ok that the family was Jewish. My mother-in-law is a strict Catholic. She verified that her three requests had been met, and then gave her ok. My husband was 9 years old when she came home from the hospital without the baby. He remembers putting his hand on her shoulder as she sat on the front steps crying. He asked if it was a boy or girl. It was a boy. Then he said, "Don't worry, Mom. Some day I'm going to find my brother."
42 years later, my husband received an email from a man who had taken an Ancestry spit test and found a distant relative. This man had a disorder called thalassemia anemia that runs in my husband's family. And there was a shocking photo attached. He looked more like my husband than anyone we had ever seen. My husband finally found his brother, who never dreamed that he had three full siblings.
The thing that most surprised me is how many characteristics this youngest brother has in common with the rest of his birth family. It has made me think nature beats out nurture, which was a point made in the book.
My mother-in-law was separated from her husband and was doing her best to raise her three children on her own. She was barely making it, and even had to rely on homeless shelters from time to time. A brief reunion with her husband led to a fourth pregnancy that she could not afford. She asked her doctor to help find a family who could adopt her baby. She wanted the baby to have three things. 1. Money 2. A stay-at-home mother 3. Siblings. The doctor found a family that fit her requests, but he wanted to ensure it was ok that the family was Jewish. My mother-in-law is a strict Catholic. She verified that her three requests had been met, and then gave her ok. My husband was 9 years old when she came home from the hospital without the baby. He remembers putting his hand on her shoulder as she sat on the front steps crying. He asked if it was a boy or girl. It was a boy. Then he said, "Don't worry, Mom. Some day I'm going to find my brother."
42 years later, my husband received an email from a man who had taken an Ancestry spit test and found a distant relative. This man had a disorder called thalassemia anemia that runs in my husband's family. And there was a shocking photo attached. He looked more like my husband than anyone we had ever seen. My husband finally found his brother, who never dreamed that he had three full siblings.
The thing that most surprised me is how many characteristics this youngest brother has in common with the rest of his birth family. It has made me think nature beats out nurture, which was a point made in the book.