"Francis was my older brother. His was a name a toughened kid might boast of knowing, or a name a parent might pronounce in warning. But before all of this, he was the shoulder pressed against me bare and warm, that body always just a skin away."

This is a brilliant, beautiful, soul-destroying book. The writing is very strong and the non-linear narrative is very well-crafted, and I adored the central relationship between brothers Michael and Francis, which is portrayed with such honesty and devastation. There's also a super interesting set of side characters and so many other important relationships are explored too.

This book provides so much to think about and reflect upon in its themes of grief, trauma, familial expectations, living as an immigrant, poverty, race, sexuality, police violence, and friendship and community, and it's one that I'm sure will stay with me for a long time.

My only criticism is that I struggled to feel connected to the time period. Most of the book is set during the 1980s and 1990s, but for reasons I can't quite articulate, it felt very contemporary and I honestly wouldn't have batted an eyelid if every word had been the same but it had been set today. I'd still highly, highly recommend it though, as everything else about it is so fantastic and brutal and important and devastating.

wow. this is one of those books that punch you in the gut and you feel that hurt forever.

a story set in Scarborough about a first-gen Caribbean family that touches on being Black in Canada, and the ongoing grief that follows. 

chariandy sets up the book slowly, using beautiful descriptions of Scarborough that change and adapt to the events happening at the time of the description, and makes the inanimate come to life. 
the timeline going forward and back and forward again is pretty unorthodox, and was a bit confusing to keep track of which events happened when, but are vital to the storytelling. this novel's delivery almost mimics the memory flow of, you guessed it, a human being.

the book focuses on heavy themes of grief, police brutality, racism, and the migrant experience in Canada living in a poverty-stricken area, but also turns readers' attention to the Black music culture, and heavily emphasizes the beauty and importance of music. the mentions of Black artists like Nina Simone, Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Gladys Knight, Smokey Robinson, Etta James contrasts the looming theme of racism in the book, and instead focuses on Black Excellence, especially in Michael and Francis' situation where their mother pushed "Your one and only chance," to climb higher (socially) and make it big in the world as a Black person in a White society. 

this book gripped my little first-gen Canadian, child of an immigrant heart and didn't let go. i'm hesitating to give a full five stars due to one detail: chariandy using the homophobic f slur in his writing, and not as a reclamation. david chariandy is a cishet man, and has no right to use this slur, not even as another character speaking. he rightfully reclaimed the n slur in this book, but as a cishet man, had no right to use the homophobic f slur, no exceptions.

all in all, this book made me feel too much and made me want to cry one too many times. i highly recommend, and leave you with this:

Never had to read book for school that I ended up loving so much.