For a science fiction novel, “The Stars Too Fondly” is pretty terrible: every explanation of sci-fi phenomena within this book doesn’t even loosely read like science—more like fantasy plot elements with scientific terms tacked on—and a multitude of plot holes are left in its wake; the attempted meta-ness of the writing date this book, even with a setting decades into the future; and the cast talks and acts like they’re perpetually between 18 and 19 years old. I’m not one of those people to read a book “for the vibes”, and while I get that a “cozy rom-com in space” like this one will garner an audience, I’m definitely not in it. Nonetheless, I had a ton of fun reading.

Sometimes to its benefit, often to its detriment, this read like fanfiction. There were some pretty quick shifts from arguments to emotionally vulnerable moments between Cleo and Billie, I already referenced the dated references and how the characters are too immature for people in their late twenties, and some parts of Billie’s internal monologue sounded like they were written by an angsty teen. Case in point:

And then, of course, there were some lines that seemed more ridiculous than angsty: 

(I am not going to directly quote the entire sentence where Cleo also jokes about “wanting to climb Billie like a grumpy tree”😐)

While the narrative was knowingly tropey, I did not think it acknowledged those tropes in a tongue-in-cheek way. I can’t like the grumpy x sunshine romance, for example, if it’s painfully obvious from the writing who is the sunshine and who is the grump. This, subsequently, also made the found family feel a little too on-the-nose.

However, I did enjoy Cleo’s friend group. (Which is a relief, considering them and Billie are the only people on the actual Providence I ship.) They might’ve had their cringey lines, but I know too well the kind of powerful bond a friend group can develop in order to cope with dysfunctional home backgrounds. They sometimes interacted with each other like siblings(minus Abe and Kaleisha, with them being a couple lmfao), which I enjoyed, and I liked how they helped each other cope with the situation of being stuck in a spaceship for 7+ months. But of the side cast, Ros was easily my favorite. Powerful super-powered characters spiraling about hurting the ones they love is definitely its own trope, but I liked how that tied into their mental health decline, which I could understand with the long period of isolation. (Their abilities were also awesome. I haven’t read about many ice magic-users since TWB, lol. And coincidentally, both characters were nonbinary!) Ros’s self-experimentation and occasional log to go with it were also very interesting.

And for how much I shit talk the plot, the inter-dimensional travel..warp fuckery..was undeniably cool. Even if the visual descriptors got repetitive. And the explanation for how the Other Place worked(uncreative name, I know) made no sense.

I’ve talked about my gripes with the writing, now I can actually talk about what I liked about the style. There were some genuinely(and intentionally) funny parts of dialogue. And I loved the melodrama in Cleo and Billie’s sapphic romance that literally breaks space and time, their dynamic was fun and, at times, tooth-achingly sweet. (But also, if I think if I had read a book with all of these issues, and it was about a straight romance, I would’ve wanted to strangle someone.)

I can’t even joke about points being taken off because of the lack of hologram sex, since I’d already settled on a 2.5 rating before I knew that there wouldn’t be any, but I will say that was a bummer. Come on guys, let’s get creative!

Perhaps someone will read this review and think this book sounds right up their alley, perhaps someone else will yank it off their TBR (or keep it a couple feet further away from said TBR), but I can at least say I was invested for most of this. “The Stars Too Fondly” has many issues imo, but dryness is not one of them. I’m even stealing “then what, pray tell, the fuck?”. (And maybe even “Got too many thoughts bonking around in here”, because it kind of sounds like Adventure Time dialogue. I catch the irony.) (I miss Fionna And Cake.)