this is a difficult book to review, in part because i always want to find good things in books i don't DNF, in part because i was so stunned by the direction this chose to take over and over again that i'm at the end of it left kind of speechless (in a bad way). 

some good things:
- conceptually and if we ignore the execution entirely it's quite strong
- refreshing in its worldbuilding at times
- familial conflicts that are interesting and actual conflicts, neither easily resolved nor wrapped up in a neat bow
- compelling dynamics between the protagonist and her entourage, and an interesting (again, conceptually) point of view for the two stories
- the ending(s), in spirit, could have been very moving/i can see the vision and appreciate it
- the cultural aspects of both stories are engaging and well-done

unfortunately, i think every bit of the execution was failed. i could never quite get into it because i would get baffled at things that sounded, with absolutely no disrespect intended, quite childish. even if certain aspects are a matter of taste (the prose, for example, i really disliked but i recognize is a personal preference), the actual content of some of this book is absurd. it's sometimes just little details (a fan blog has a million subscribers? her facebook live has /five million/ views? everyone in this is somehow a millionaire? fictional jeff bezos sends her a hug emoji and don't worry he cares about climate change? the president of the united states memes about her life?), and sometimes it is an irritating, constant feeling that i'm being vaguely insulted/condescended to. the protagonist goes on and on about her disdain/contempt for scifi (and literally everything around her) which is like... okay what are we doing here then. there are always reminders that people are treating her unfairly "even though she's rich and famous" (sucks to be poor i know). i have no interest in trying to decipher what the perspective of nnedi okorafor actually is on this (lol), but from a reader who LOVES flawed characters' perspective, you have to have some balance in your narrative journey otherwise it just makes the entire book "zelu came into the room and everyone was like oh pretty girl let's hate on her". sorry that i don't care about all the real estate she's going to buy. or that she walked (several times) to her first class seat. good for her, but for a book that wants to be meta, far-reaching, and inventive/original, it is bafflingly narrow-minded and unambitious. 

some things aren't the book's fault: i don't think this should be marketed as scifi at all, but others have said this. it's setting both scifi fans and the book up for failure, which feels unfair. ultimately i think this wasn't for me, and as much as i wanted to give it ago (i read all of it!), i think it has some unredeemable particularities to it that have left me disgruntled and frustrated. also completely unrelated but why do the robots have gender? one of the many hamfisted things in this. everything is so on the nose and inexplicable at the same time. a bizarre experience.

thank you to netgalley and Gollancz for the ARC!