this was not what i thought this book was gonna be like. this writing style, not my taste. 

difficult to read and get the hang of, 296 pages of choppy, stark writing that had no flow whatsoever, i didn’t know what was happening half the time. 

writing aside, this book, set in the 80’s i’m assuming, explores suppressed desire and struggling identity. the nameless protagonist, 22, feels out of place in her life and has a somewhat awkward personality. she meets the headmasters wife and finds herself irresistibly drawn to her. mrs s; confident, elegant, unapologetically herself. she is the opposite of our protagonist and they find themselves entwined in a secret relationship for some time. 

makes sense for our protagonist to feel lost in a world where different sexualities and identities are not yet discovered or accepted. where a desire for something ‘taboo’ seams into a desire for human connection, desire for love and understanding, and a desire to understand oneself. a young adult who finds comfort in someone who seemingly has it all together; until she doesn’t and starts questioning her own identity. 

i feel like the dynamic between the two had no substance, which again i blame the writing style.  this was a no from me.