now this is a good book about the complexities of motherhood. it is bleak and that stands in contrast to our prevailing sentimentality when it comes to feelings about mothers and babies. so i think her contention may be shocking to some.

but i think this is such an important book because of its unique voice. her argument is basically that many realities of motherhood are far different from what pregnant women are led to expect and childless adults know. for example, pregnancy is not always wonderful; nursing is painful and very complicated & frustrating for many women (at first) and has some drawbacks that the breastfeeding books never mention; taking care of a newborn is utterly overwhelming; splitting the domestic duties and striving for a truly egalitarian marriage is next to impossible; and the process of becoming a new mother is shockingly transformative: it's not just that you acquire a new baby- you become a new person.

it sounds depressing but it's really not. it just provides some real-life balance to the unrealistic beliefs we collectively share. i think it contains invaluable information for new and expecting moms. knowing that so many of these feelings are common is likely to make moms feel less guilty, wrong, inept.

(it is also well-written and researched.)