It’s just so surreal, it seems so impossibly unreal that I finished this book. It’s so terribly strange to feel so complete. As a child, I never thought — not even in my wildest dreams — that years later I could re-enter, even for a short while, the wonderful world of Pixie Hollow.

I didn’t realize how much I needed this book. I wouldn’t have thought that now — lifetimes later — it would answer every question I had. I’m not saying my adult self was entirely satisfied, because it wasn’t, but I want to evaluate it not with my adult self, but with my inner child, because this book was for her.

Clarion was already an endlessly lovable and adorable character in the movies. While she was 400 years old there, here she’s a young and inexperienced fairy. What we once called wisdom gave way to naivety, and honestly, I don’t mind. The whole world was still ahead of her, with all its troubles and pain. She couldn’t know what would happen, so she made wild decisions, rebelled against the rules, and ran away from everything (doing things she surely wouldn’t do now). Yet because of that, she found peace — which she later lost — and happiness. Many people said she loved Tinkerbell because she saw herself in her. That’s partly true, but not entirely. I don’t think Clarion ever saw herself in Tinkerbell; they were too different. They had and still have similar traits, but no, that just wasn’t the case. I think she only saw her friend Petra in her—a friend she had probably lost by then.

Milori… Oh, dear gods, I’m dead. This man— sorry, fairy — is SO perfect. Seriously. Not a single flaw. He was a gentleman from beginning to end, with the right set of rules. He never did anything wrong, not even for a moment. There’s so much kindness in him, it’s incredible. Even in his youth, he took his duties seriously and always cared for Clarion (he was always the first to suggest she go back to the warm seasons). He never let her get hurt, never pushed her too hard, and gave her everything, even when he lost everything himself. Until now, I believed — hoped — that he lost his wing for the same reason as Periwinkle almost did; recklessly crossing the border to see another world. But no. He gave up his wing for something much more noble; for her. This shook my world so deeply that I will never see them the same way again. This fairy deserves the whole world and everything in it.

The others:

Petra. I was never fully at peace with her; somehow, I didn’t understand her (and I didn’t want to). Then she betrayed Clarion (which, to be fair, she had every right to do, and I understand it), but it still hurt. I could never fully trust her. She seemed doomed to fail from the beginning for me.

Artemis, my dear Artemis. She gave so much and asked for so little in return. She gave me Asterin vibes, but that’s probably just because their goals were similar. I loved her with all my heart. 

Elvina somehow didn’t grow on me, probably because I couldn’t quite place her in my mind. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about her. A part of me understands why she was so protective of Clarion, but another part resents her for being so biased.

I was absolutely terrified of the love story— there, I said it — but I was pleasantly surprised. It developed well. I liked that neither of them suddenly trusted the other; they were full of desires and unspoken words. Their love is so pure and beautiful, I can’t get enough of it.

As for the story itself, it didn’t always hold my attention completely. It was interesting, and I enjoyed visiting familiar places again with small changes, but I didn’t always feel it was heading in the right direction. Still, it was filled with new customs, stories, and moments that added a lot to it. The writing — I’ve never read anything by this author before — was enjoyable. Not outstanding, but I liked it. Although I read it in the original language this time, I might give it another chance if it comes out in my native language. The pacing was appropriate. Even though only weeks (a month) passed, it didn’t feel too slow or too fast.

The ending. Oh, the ending broke me. It hurt so terribly to read that I can’t even explain it. I knew what was coming, but that didn’t lessen the pain. It’s unbelievable to me that they couldn’t truly see each other for centuries! Their goodbye was beautiful and tradic.

Overall, it was worth the wait — a wait that felt endlessly long and difficult — and it mostly lived up to my expectations. This was a love letter to our younger selves, and that’s how it should be treated. I would love to see a movie adaptation of this, though I know it’s pointless to beg the gods for it.