This book has been on my radar but I didn't pick it up until I found a used copy. The premise was intriguing, and I'm a sucker for stories that grapple with complex understanding of religion and gender. But while I did like a lot about this book, I think the main think holding it back is the lack of a driving plot. Don't get me wrong - the story of queer survival is a good one, but personally, I felt like most of this book was just in a holding pattern.

WRITING: White's prose is generally pretty good. On a sentence level, it moves swiftly and works hard to capture Benji's emotions surrounding his transformation, his need for support, and his complex relationship with his past.

I did like the way Benji ran through a lot of Bible verses and teachings in his head, showing the hold that religious indoctrination can have on a person even if they disagree or leave/escape a church.

I do think, however, that some of the prose could feel repetitive, mostly because there are some places in the plot where it feels like we're waiting around. It felt like White used repetitive descriptions of Benji feeling sick or Benji checking in with Nick not to build suspense, but because there wasn't really much happening. I think if the plot was a bit more focused, less of this "dead time" could have been more interesting.

I'm also not sure how I feel about the switch in perspectives. If they were a little more consistent, I think that would have helped, but some of them feel random so it was a tad awkward.

PLOT: The plot of this book follows Benji, a 16 year old trans boy who escapes from an eco-fascist Christian cult two years after said cult has released a virus on the world. Survivors live in an apocalyptic wasteland, and to finish off the 'unbelievers' and bring about the true end of the world, the cult creates a new strain of the virus called Seraph. Benji, being the first person to survive Seraph, is believed to be the ultimate weapon that can advance the cult's goals, so when he escapes, they make it a priority to get him back.

Meanwhile, Benji finds shelter with a group of teens holed up in an old LGBTQIA+ Center. While Benji tries to hide the transformations that are making him more monstrous, one of the group's leaders, Nick, has a plan for Benji that may work against everything they stand for.

I really liked the idea of monstrosity being not an allegory queer and trans identity itself (in the vein of monstrosity = outsider, monster as queer, etc), but also as a metaphor for how an oppressive group (Christianity, in this case) can create feelings of monstrosity in a queer person. Monstrosity is something that is deliberately done to Benji in order to further the cult’s own goals, and a big part of Benji's arc is learning to deal with his monstrosity despite never asking for it or having no control over it being done to him.

However, I do think the overall plot of this book was a little weak. White does his best to create an impending sense of dread while also reveling in a revenge fantasy, but there isn't a lot of support from the story to make those things land. The author's note tells us that more than dread and revenge, this is meant to be a survival story, but again, I think the plot needed a little something else to make it feel like Benji and the others weren't just existing. Perhaps Benji and Nick team up to try to find a cure but Nick is plotting a betrayal. Perhaps they team up to get Benji as far away from people as possible. Some kind of end goal that can drive the narrative rather than leaving it so open.

Lastly, I think more needed to be done to show us the impact of the past on Benji. The book opens with Benji running away and the death of his father, so it's a bit in medias res. From there, most of Benji's past is told to us, so it's difficult to absorb his emotional attachment to his father, to Theo, etc. I think having flashbacks or dual timelines would have helped a lot.

CHARACTERS: Benji, our protagonist, is interesting in that he's a trans boy struggling with his very literal monstrosity and his past as a child in an eco-fascist cult. I liked that White showed him as compassionate towards the Graces and I liked Benji's complicated feelings for Theo. But I do think more could have been done to give him a personal arc that unfolds over the course of the whole novel, not just all at once at the end.

Nick, the autistic teen in charge of the ALC (more or less), has some sweet moments. I liked the way he bonded with Benji by passing notes back and forth, and the pressure Nick was under to keep everyone alive and safe was understandable. I do think White showed his cards too soon when it came to Nick's secrets, and I think more could have been done to explore a personal arc of moving from staunch protector and soldier to something else.

Theo, Benji's former fiancé, was very interesting to me because he accepted Benji without question yet still fully believed in the cult doctrine. It was fascinating to watch the complexity of how feelings for someone could challenge one's belief in a cause, and I was eager to find out what would win out in the end.

Supporting characters were fine, though I think there could have been more opportunities to shape the plot so that Benji bonded with the ALC teens more emotionally. As it stands, most of the others just kind of feel there until the end, when Benji decides to view them as family. I wanted a little more growth to support that switch.

TL;DR: Hell Followed With Us is a book with an interesting premise but needs a lot more narrative support. While it's nice to have trans representation in a book about survival and religion, I also think this book lacked a driving force that would have made the plot more interesting.