TRIGGER WARNINGS: self-harm, depression, anxiety, suicide attempt, shooting, death, use of queer, homophobia

Something Beautiful is about two best friends, Cordelia Quinn and Declan MacLeod, who have known each other since they were three and how they navigate friendship, growing up, and identity with and without the other person. And as they grow older, Cordelia struggles with mental illness and Declan fights to come to grips with his sexuality.

It is a novel meant for a bigger purpose, driven by social issues and personal struggles. But the delivery is lacking, and it fails to really leave a mark on the reader, imo.

The earlier chapters detail Cordelia and Declan's childhood, and understandably their voices come of as immature. But I was thoroughly confused (albeit somewhat curious) by their dynamic as children. Here, the characters are written such that their diction and syntax are 'child-like,' but the characters and their words don't mix. It's almost like sifting through oil and water, reading and realizing how detached the words and their characters are. I always felt like Cord and Dec were adults trapped in little kids' bodies...

And that was only part of my problem with the voice. I felt that the writing was weak overall, it read like a familiar, disappointing fanfiction, and that disappointed me further.

Characterization was also an issue for me, because all the characters read flat. The mental health issues Cord was battling, the rocky road Dec had to navigate as he came to terms with his sexuality, the grief and loss of life, friendship, and love could have all given these characters more dimensions. Instead, the lost voice and inconsistent writing leave the characters flat. While the author does switch between Cordelia and Declan's POVs, her writing and voice do not change, leaving all the characters feeling like the same person. The secondary and tertiary characters, like Adam or Peter, are no different. Which begs to question why there are two alternating points of view at all. All their actions are the same, all their words recycled until there is no substance left to those actions/words. The characters have conflict with each other, but it never lasts too long - everything seems resolved with a quick "I love you," and that was frustrating.

Also, where did everyone go? (

Adam dies, yes. Peter goes from one-night stand to best friend to life partner (after Cornelia gives him a stern talking to???) to Declan, Cornelia dies, Declan will always love her, blah blah blah

) Regan, Cordelia's little sister, is there to say two sentences about how she will miss Cord when she is away at college in California and how depression is a disease, after which she is never seen again (

oh, except at the end in the hospital, where she sobs and asks why Cord deserved to die

). What happened to the parents, apart from letting this painfully co-dependent relationship grow way out of hand and into their kids' adulthood? So many characters, with so much to offer, are brought in for a moment and then lost forever.

Something else that bothered me was that the author took to using a slur in describing her LGBT+ character, especially when there are still many people in the community are still uncomfortable. Personally, I am fine with using an umbrella term, such as queer, to describe myself - but again, imo, the author could've tried to be more nuanced with that term.

The thing about Declan's sexuality was there was no label, and in a way I'm glad he got to explore the fluidity of sex. It is a completely valid way to discover sex and sexuality. But I couldn't help but feel like there was some degree of bisexual erasure to that. So many bisexual characters in literature are left saying "I don't like labels" in a vague attempt to stop the bisexuality setting concretely onto the character, which is disappointing because really, what is wrong with being bi? Yes, Declan seems to prefer same-sex relationships, and yes Cordelia may be the one exception, but bisexuality isn't a 50/50 compromise of attraction between the sexes. Declan could have been bi with higher same-sex tendencies and everything would've still carried on fine.

Dealing with the suicide attempt and self-harm in the book was also hard for me. And while Declan was supposed to mean well with his story about his sister's suicide attempt, that was such a bad move and so unhealthy for Cordelia, I hated it. Speaking of unhealthy, when Cordelia's father discovers his daughter attempted suicide because Declan is gay, he yells at Declan that he (Dec) can't possibly be gay and that he needs to get his shit together and fix everything is just unfortunate. Yes, perhaps Mr. Quinn was just in the wrong space, and maybe that is why he was meant to lash out that way, but it was just so out of place that it didn't work.

I was excited to read a book that had so much to offer, thematically, but all I got was disappointment, frustration, and annoyance.

(I was offered a free (ePub) copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review)