Overheard at the beach this morning

Kid: "I don't want to play soccer anymore. I don't like it"
Mom: "Well you're playing soccer so learn to like it!"

My heart breaks for this kid and for this Mom. The fact is that our system is broken and it's hurting our kids. But our fear of losing out, our fear that our kids won't be able to get ahead, is keeping us from just breaking the system and replacing it with a new one. We deny that it's a problem. We over-schedule with activities and overemphasize the wrong measures of success. We are overly fixated on "special" and "extraordinary" which denies the reality that most kids (and most of us) are average.

We deny that success is available to ALL. OF. US. and not just a elite few. Because that is true. We can all be successful. We just have to acknowledge that success looks very different for different people.

We are ignoring the most important skills that we need to teach our kids to be capable and healthy adults (resilience, self awareness, flexibility and empathy) and instead we are propping them up for "success" (grades, activities, elite schools, money) which actually harms them.

This book should be required reading for all parents. It is empathetic, well researched and supportive of both parents and children.