Punk 57. Wow. What a ride. I loved this book to pieces honestly. Just—beautiful.

The emotional scenes are what really got to me; taking two incredibly rough, cocky characters and watching them break down, be vulnerable, and being able to come right back around again was everything to me.

The spice felt a bit abrupt at some parts, but was generally very good,

and got even better towards the end when it was rightfully placed around more vulnerable scenes.

4⭐️??

did i almost dnf this like 3 times? yes.
did i also finish it in under 2 days because i couldn't put it down? also yes.

clearly, i have a lot of conflicting feelings about this book.

i was not expecting the high school setting. tbh i spent part of this pretending the characters were in university and not high school. if tv has taught me anything it's that american high school and university are basically the same except that one of them costs a lot of money and has fraternities/sororities 😂

if you're the type of person who only reads books with MCs you can relate to, then this probably isn't for you unless you're an awful teenager with issues. there's a lot of problematic behaviour in this book, but it's a pretty accurate reflection of some peoples lived experiences. (and just because it wasn't your lived experience, doesn't mean it's not true)

you'll spend a lot of time not liking the characters, bc they are very unlikable for a lot of the book and that's kind of the point. these aren't characters who are thriving during the peak years of their lives in a perfect fictional world. they are characters who struggling to find themselves, learning who they are/who they can be, and learning who they don't want to be.

i also really appreciate the way misha's sisters death was handled. we often see grief from the pov of the parent who loses a child, but the experience of the sibling is usually forgotten. the effect that the death of a younger adult has on the siblings and how that effects all the relationships in the family is so complex. i think that was handled really well and quite accurately here.

there's a lot more floating around in my brain, but i can't get the words right for now, so maybe i'll edit this later with some more thoughts. or maybe not. who knows.

I stayed up till 3am binging this book last night and finished it as soon as I got back home after running errands today. The spice was spicyyy, but the plot was fully there. I decided to read it in between Hideaway and Kill Switch and I absolutely adored the pop ups from my favorite characters in the Devil’s Night series.

I related to Ryen so much, it physically hurt. The pain of wanting to fit in with the popular kids at school is something that I think almost everyone has experienced and I truly appreciated the way Penelope Douglas portrayed her as a character.

Since going back on my ✨meds✨, I haven’t been able to cry, but I’ll tell you what.. I was SO close to breaking down when that last plot twist hit us. The raw emotion from Misha and the devastating conversation had me yearning to be able to shed tears and if I wasn’t mentally stable thanks to a little (Dr. prescribed*) pill, I would have been bawling my eyes out.

Ready to resume my Devil’s Night reads— Penelope Douglas has quickly become one of my new favorite authors. 🖤

i read this book once a couple years ago and i loved it then, it was my first real smut book. reading again, it is still so good. the pacing is awesome and you don’t have to wait forever for the tension to build - it’s already there due to the plot! normally plot isn’t really something that authors pay too much attention to in smut novels but there are some twists in this book that make it really enjoyable beyond the hot sex.

**check triggers before starting** 

This high school romance tackles intense and important topics like b*llying, h0m0ph0bia, body shaming, and other challenges that teens often face. It was emotional and heavy at times, as the story showed teenagers navigating through serious struggles. The mention of death hit particularly hard, and it was heartbreaking to see a 17-year-old dealing with such grief.

What stood out to me was the unique friendship between Misha and Ryen, built through seven years of letter-writing without ever meeting or knowing how they look. But after they meet? The chemistry is just 🔥🥵. The book reminded me of the Sex Education, as it explored real, raw issues, and even though some parts were sad, I couldn’t stop reading. The suspense kept me fully engaged from start to finish.

The only thing I wish had been explored was Misha and his dad’s relationship rebuild—I really wanted to see how they turned out. I loved how everything resolved in the end, and even though it was an emotional read, I liked it enough. If you’re into high school romance with a mix of spice and serious themes, this book is definitely worth checking out.

This book is great! I found this entire read very enjoyable and there was lots of emotion and an amazing plot twist at the end. The epilogue being five years later was the perfect addition to the end of the story. I kind of wish this book was longer and maybe even a series. This is only my second Penelope Douglas book and I continue to be amazed by her writing and her writing style is so easy to read. It’s very fast paced in this book particularly.. 
i’m rating this book a 4.75 because I honestly might read it again

time to rant.....

okay so I wanna start by saying that if you liked this book, I totally respect your opinion and I honestly wish that was me because I wish I could like every book I read especially one that I've been wanting to read for so long. 🫶🏼

my face throughout the whole book was like this: 🤨😬😐

but anyways, I hated literally every single character in this book and SO MANY scenes gave me the ick.

these characters, both the main and the side characters had everything I absolutely hate about real life people... lying, faking and the worst thing of all.... bullying.... (and beyond).

I hated Ryen so much, I honestly didn't sympathise with her once over her constant explanations on why she was how she was..... I have zero sympathy for bullies and the dude she bullied is better than me because when she apologised, I would've given her the middle finger and told her to fuck off.

and Misha was annoying and a weirdo. obviously I sympathised with him over his sister, I can't imagine having to go through that but everything else... brother ewww... also, wtf is his problem with taking no's??? I feel like she constantly said "oh I don't wanna do this rn" and he would persuade her???? hello???? police????? and if I remember correctly there was even a moment where he threatened something (I just don't remember what LMAO).

I'm gonna admit that there is one thing Ryen pissed me off for but it's because I'm also guilty of that and I hate that about myself, which is choosing bad friends (HOWEVER as bad as I've chosen, I'd never let them bully other people in front of me, much less me joining them in the bullying).

and I think this is how I realise I do in fact have a limit on how much smut I mind in a book..... for me, it's the same if a book has smut or doesn't, I don't mind either way but now I know there's definitely something as too much smut. (or maybe it's because the rest of the book had a shitty plot, who knows). but I definitely thought this book had a bit too much.

also, can we talk about how this was set in high school?????? I know teenagers have sex (even tho I didn't LMAO) but come on....

this was my first ever Penelope Douglas book and I have Birthday Girl on my tbr but now idk if I should read it. but I guess I might give her another chance with that book, but we'll see.