emjwriting's reviews
285 reviews

Where do you want/need to go? Do you have a plan to get there?If not, or ifyour lack of planning has always been a source of anxiety for you, may I suggest you pick up Marshall Goldsmith’s newest book, "What Got You Here Won’t Get You There?"? The book contains 20 habits that hold you back (from getting “there”, remember?) as well as a plethora of other bejewelled nuggets such as how you can change for the better. Here are some of my biggest takeaways which relate to everyone, not just the corporate leaders in our midst:

1) Habit #3 that holds you back: Passing Judgments. Just don’t do it. We discuss this concept at length in Uncommon Confidence. Basically, Marshall and I are advising the same thing: don’t inflict your world view on anyone except yourself. As each of us are unique, authentic beings. What works for us may not necessarily work for someone else. Judging others, Marshall tells us, pushes people away and limits our opportunities for success.

2) Habit #5 that holds you back: Starting with “No”, “But” or “However”. When we start sentences with these qualifiers, we are negating what the other person is saying. Let’s not do that. It seems obviously but here again, when we negate someone else’s worldview, we are pushing them away. We are also sending the message that we are more important than they are. We are also telling them that they are wrong. Ouch. That’s not the way to build a strong support team, now is it?

3) Changing for the better: Using active listening. When listening to someone, focus on them and add one more thing to the equation. Weigh your comment with Marshall’s indispensable sage advice, ask yourself “Is it worth it?” before you add your two pennies to the conversation. Asking yourself this will force you to focus on how the other person will feel after your comment. “Is it worth it?” will also show the other person who you are and that you care about them.

4) Changing for the better: Practicing gratitude. I have a gratitude journal and write in it daily. I feel like I do pretty well with the gratitude thing but Marshall, bless him, gave me a really good idea in this area which is so important to me. Marshall says “thank you” at the end of each phone call instead of goodbye. I love this! This is a fabulous way to show your respect for the person on the other end of the phone. It also sends a message to that person that you appreciate his or her words. You almost cannot overdue gratitude. Think about it: how many times are you sincerely thanked in one day? Not that many I would guess. Gratitude is a gift. Give and take it with grace and sincerity.

You Can’t Get There From Here, while marketed as a business/success book, offers so many riches to the average person. Interestingly what might hold the corporate executive back from getting to her place of desire is exactly what will hold you back. Perhaps every habit doesn’t apply to you (I hope not) but some will. As always, take what you want, what applies to you and leave the rest.

What is holding you back from getting There?

I read this when it first came out since I was a fan of Eugenides' book, The Virgin Suicides. Five years later, I still don't know what all the fuss is about. Eugenides is long-winded and the story is overly complicated with no characters that the reader doesn't really care about. At least not this reader.

If you think your family is dysfunctional, think again. Then read The Glass Castle. Outrageous, sad and laugh out loud funny. GREAT writing.

Great writing; poignant characters and a fabulous story. It doesn't get any better than that.