I particularly liked how Coles ended this book on the idea that all of us can take the exact same path and end in entirely different places. The truth is that none of us will ever really agree on what sexual ethics are ethical and I don't think we're meant to. I think what is a calling for one person is just that - a calling for one person. I think a God that is, at once, beginning and end, may make more than one diametrically opposed truths true. Coles is a great writer and I really enjoyed reading this even if it cannot be used by me.

3.5 stars. I always appreciate the opportunity to hear someone else's story. It did feel, as Greg himself says, like a long journal entry that didn't really plunge into the depths. But compassionate and honest.

The greatest challenge to me (and probably to others!) was this quote: "There are a few things I know for sure about showing love to gay people, and one of them is this: If you really want to love us, you have to respect us enough to make our own decisions. Even if you think we might get it wrong. Even if you're sure we've gotten it wrong. You can't just tell us what to believe and expect us to believe it. That's not how belief works."

What a brilliant memoir. For those seeking to understand the intersect of gay orientation and Christian obedience, look to Coles for help. I so admire Coles’ desire to follow Jesus whatever it costs...It challenged me deeply. I’ve learned so much here.

"I’m the guy you thought you could never be: a guy who’s gay and loves Jesus and isn’t ashamed to admit either of those things."

This bold statement, in a line from a letter addressed to himself that concludes Greg's book, is at the heart of the story he shares with us in it. And all throughout "Single, Gay, Christian," Greg consistently seeks to occupy that sometimes-awkward, always admirable, thoroughly beautiful "third space" between the two default camps when it comes to the question of a gay man in the Church. In this book, we witness Greg struggling to affirm the inherent goodness of his own sexuality, and to own the truth that who he is NOT a mistake, while also not shying away from the question of the costliness of following Christ, and what that might look like to him personally—for as the book's subtitle asserts, this is indeed (above all) a very personal journey into which Greg is inviting us to share as we read his telling of it. Along the way, Greg offers larger insights into topics beyond his own personal sexual identity—topics such as faith, family, relationships, re-examining how the Church views singleness & recovering the lost calling of celibacy, and more.

There's something in it, I think, for everyone. Whether you're a more progressive person wondering about the particular pains (and perhaps opportunities?) of being gay in the Evangelical Church, or a hetero, Evangelical-insider who doesn't know either. Whether you find yourself agreeing with Greg's "theologically conservative" (as he puts it) conclusion or not, re: the question of celibacy & marriage as a gay Christian. Whether you yourself need the letter that is the postlude to Greg's book to help you on your own journey, or know someone you love who does.

I truly loved this book. I devoured most of it in a single night.

Disclaimer: I am biased in its favor, since I know Greg personally. Before I even received my copy, I was predisposed to like it; and I'm sure my friendship with Greg enhanced my overall opinion of it. Taking that into account, I do genuinely think it to be an excellent read for others who haven't yet met Greg (you're about to in these pages), and would definitely recommend this book to a friend (already have)! I would especially recommend "Single, Gay, Christian" to Evangelical Christians, and perhaps most especially to those who find themselves wanting to engage in more conversation about what it means to be a gay Christian, but aren't exactly sure how or where to begin.

This book is as good a place I know of to start.

A quick read/listen that dives into the tensions experienced by a single, gay Christian. Coles’ desire to embrace the discomfort of not knowing everything fully yet holding to what convictions he does find in Scripture makes for an honest, Scripture-guided discussion of his experience and beliefs.

This was … not really how I expected the “story” to go, and while I don’t remember specifics (since I’m writing this 8 months and several books later) I do have a lingering memory of being disappointed.

If I’m remembering right this essentially boiled down to: “I’m going to live a chaste, celibate life, devoid of romantic love.” If that works for you, awesome. But for me, that is one of the more devastating outcomes I can think of for my own life. I’ve been on that other side, but honestly I don’t know if I was ever 1,000% committed to that whole “oh I’ve got God and friends and family and this is all the love and companionship I need” shtick.

This was recommended by a friend and I'm so glad I was able to broaden my horizons by reading this book. My favorite quote was toward the end of the book and says, "I am convinced that in the end God is more concerned with the depth and the recklessness of our love for Him than He is with our right answers." Thank you Gregory Cole for being so transparent and for sharing your heart!

This book is deeply important. Every Christian should read this and carefully consider how they interact with people who are sexual minorities. As someone who believes wholeheartedly that same-sex relationships are not sinful, I was not put off by this book. I found it encouraging. To me, Greg asks us to consider bigger questions than what we believe about homosexuality. His story encourages readers to follow Christ with all they have. He asks us to listen to his story, to listen to all stories. He asks us to question how we treat other people. He asks us to consider how our actions and words towards each other are perceived. Greg's book is an encouraging step in the right direction towards open, honest conversations.